Peace is not the calm before the storm..........

but the calm during the storm.

Yesterday, Thursday, we had rain here in San Diego County! Not only rain, but thunder and lightning. I heard on the radio that lightning struck the ground 72 times since 4:00am. How they know that, I don’t know. Our tax dollars at work? Anyway, it was a dark and dreary day all around.

Charlie and I have been on a roller coaster ride since Taz was diagnosed with lymphoma in July. We have had our hopes up and then dashed when Taz quit eating, was anemic, had the blockage in his intestines, surgery, etc. That was totally unexpected. It wasn’t even the tumor that caused the blockage!

As Taz would say, “Enough about you two, let’s talk about me.” Okay, yesterday, Thursday, Taz was not interested in eating at all. We gave him a Mirtazapine to help his appetite, but it didn't help much. I gave him Nutri-cal, which is a supplement high in calories and gives energy to cats who are not eating enough or at all. I also fed him some Hill's A/D by syringe.

VSH calls several times a week to check on Taz. Since he had chemo last week, they had left a message asking how he was doing. We called them back and gave them the report about Taz not eating, etc. Dr. Phillips called and wanted us to bring him in for blood work and a possible ultra sound between 11:00 and 11:30am..

We left to take him to VSH. We got on the freeway and heard on the radio that a tanker truck had overturned on the northbound I-805 just a couple of exits up from us and fuel was spilling. We saw the traffic and got off the exit before to try to get around it. The traffic would have been backed up anyway, without the overturned tanker. When it sprinkles here in California, people go mad and start pressing on their gas pedals and running into each other and skidding. It’s a mess. Don’t ever move here. But, I digress. After we finally picked our way around town and got back on the freeway north of the crash, we were on our way.

We left Taz in Adin’s capable hands and were told that they would call us when he was done. Since it was about noon, we went over to the Miramar Air Station to get some gas for the car and a sandwich for lunch. The Blue Angels were practicing for an air show this weekend, so we were entertained for a few minutes watching them. Sheila was also with us and she didn't really care for the jet noise. She did like the leftover sandwich and french fries we brought out to her though. It was sprinkling so we decided to go on home and wait for the call from VSH.

Dr. Phillips called and said that the mini-report was, Taz's red blood cells were very good, better than last week and he was up from 9.75 lbs to 10.2 lbs., which was a mystery since he hadn't been eating well the last couple of days. She would call back when they got the results from the ultra sound.

I was doing some organizing in my computer room when Dr. Phillips called later. Charlie talked to her and then came in to tell me......"The news is bad, Taz's ultra sound shows that the lymphoma has grown." I had to sit down to hear the rest.

Taz’s red blood cell count was very good, based on the blood work. Taz has been marginally anemic, but there was no sign of that.

His weight was 10.2 pounds, higher than his last weight at 9.75, despite his lowered appetite and difficulty in getting him to eat.

After getting the results of the ultrasound, the weight gain could be explained due to fluids accumulating in his abdomen, caused by the cancer.

In addition to the fluids, the doctor found increased activity from the lymphoma –– the cancer was both growing and spreading aggressively. For the second time the cancer treatments had failed.

We did not have a lot of options. There were other chemo drugs that could be tried, but the two best treatments with the highest success rates had now failed. The chances of success were even less with other drugs.

Before Taz had his surgery we had tried a powerful booster drug called,asparaginase, in cases where the regular protocol wasn’t working as well as hoped. It helped reduce the cancer. The doctor suggested that asparaginase could be given to Taz again. It would hopefully provide another short burst of improvement. The drug’’s effectiveness diminishes a lot after the first dose, and so it was unlikely to be any help long term, although there is a rare chance that it might prove more effective than the other treatments.

We asked what the most likely scenario would be for Taz. The doctor told us that there was little hope of stopping the cancer, and that it would continue to expand aggressively. The fluids would continue to increase in Taz’s abdomen. Taz wasn’t in any pain, but as his abdomen got more distended he would get more and more uncomfortable. Fluids would also start filling Taz’s chest area and Taz would start having breathing problems.

The doctor told us that Taz had a few days, maybe a week, before his condition reached a point his quality of life would be seriously compromised.

We both just broke down and cried. I could stop just long enough to blow my nose and then start again. We were so hopeful that something could be done for him. We had hoped that the first chemo protocol that he was on would keep him in remission for several more months. He actually had done well with each treatment. He hadn’t vomited or been lathargic and for the most part, he ate pretty well. He had some normal days and we forgot sometimes how sick he was.

We talked about euthanasia. We don’t want to keep Taz until he has no quality of life. We kept Chelsi longer than we should have. When she wanted to go, she let us know she was ready. But, if we could do that over, we’d have let her go sooner. I don’t want Taz to suffer.

Charlie talked to the doctor again before we made a final decision. He told her we probably wouldn’t know for sure what we were going to do until we got there. We wanted to see him first and decide.

On the way, while I was thinking about it, I suggested that we go ahead and give him the asparaginase, bring him home for a few days, and then we would have some time with him before we had to say good bye. It didn’t seem right that he would leave us on the only rainy day we’ve had so far this year!

When we arrived at VHS, Paula took us to the “comforting room”, which is where they take people who are going to say good bye to their babies. She brought Taz in. He was wrapped in his blanket. We held him and talked to him and made our final decision that we would bring him home, even if it was for a few days. He purred and I rubbed his face and head. He was warm and comfortable. Charlie and I both felt that he should come home with us.

Paula took him and gave him his Asparaginase and brought him back. Adin came in and told us that Taz was such a good little guy and we were lucky to have each other. He didn't kiss him on the mouth though! I think Taz has had a talk with him about that. We have always known that we were lucky to have Tazzy. He's always been a special little fellow.

So, we brought him home. He’s been eating for us today. He moves around the house, although he isn’t real active. We offer him food several times and if he accepts, we are happy, but if he doesn’t want anything, we will wait until later and offer again.

His middle name is still Devil though...........