"What would you take........?"

When we were kids, we went to Florida every year for a couple of weeks to visit our relatives there. We stayed with my mother’s sister, Roberta and her husband, Cecil. It was always so much fun spending time with cousins that you only saw once a year. By the time we got to know each other again, we had to go home.

Aunt Roberta had been married before. She married Clifford when she was very young. They had five kids: Annette, Nancy, Billy, Tim and Becky. Uncle Clifford passed away when the kids were still pretty young. Later she met and married Uncle Cecil and they had a little boy, Bobby.

I don’t think there was anything that Aunt Roberta couldn’t drive. We all piled into their panel truck and went to the beach, to the lake and even the drive-in movie. A panel truck was like one of those PT Cruisers you see now, only bigger, like a mini-van with no windows in the back. At least that’s what I remember.

Aunt Roberta had orange trees in her yard. I also remember she had a watermelon and cantaloupe patch. Of course, you had to be careful of the sand spurs. We were always barefooted. I have stepped on many sand spurs.

I liked to sweep Aunt Roberta’s walkway. I was always asking her if she had something for me to do. She started finding things for me to do, but she would always say, “What would you take to.......?” instead of just telling me some things I could do. Sometimes it was sweeping the porch or picking up the oranges that fell on the ground. I was always eager to help her.

My mother had two brothers and two sisters. Uncle Edward was the oldest. He was born in North Dakota. Then the family moved to Florida where Aunt Roberta, Aunt Blanche, my mother, Shirley, and Uncle Bill were born. I never knew Aunt Blanche. She was killed by a hit and run driver when she was 21 or so. My mother was only 18. She and Aunt Blanche had been very close.

In the 1970's my two uncles passed away. Aunt Roberta and Cecil had moved into a house that he built, not far from her house that we used to come to. Their kids were all married now.

After Uncle Cecil passed away, Aunt Roberta remained in their house and lived alone, taking care of herself. My cousins, Annette, Tim and Bobby lived within walking distance and Nancy and Billy were not that far away, so they were always calling to check on her and stopping by. They really took good care of her.

Once when I was there, we walked out to look at some plants in the yard and didn't hear the phone. Pretty soon Annette came driving up. She had tried to call and got no answer, so she got in her car and came to see.

Mom (83) and Aunt Roberta (87)
2003

Aunt Roberta and my mother were close. Since both were widowed, they spent time together on cruises and other trips and visited each other when they could. They got along well, at least until they talked politics. Then it could get a little heated.

When Roberta and Shirley were younger, they didn’t really look alike to me. As they got older, I noticed that they had some of the same mannerisms...and they were looking more and more like each other.

When my mom passed away in 2005, Aunt Roberta came to the funeral, of course. She was getting a little feeble, but for her age at the time, 88, she really looked well. I decided at that point that I would make an effort to try to get to Florida and visit her more often. I knew she would not always be there.

Aunt Roberta's 90th birthday party, April 2006
with her kids
(back) Tim, Becky, Billy, Bobby
(front) Annette, Aunt Roberta, Nancy

In May 2007, I took a trip to Florida to spend a few days with Aunt Roberta. We talked and talked. She told me stories about the family which I had never heard before. I asked her questions about my grandparents, great grandparents, family I had never met in North Dakota, etc. She had pictures to show me. It was so much fun just spending time with her. We watched our favorite soap opera, “The Young and Restless”, together and talked about it like the people were real.

As long as I could remember, she’d had some chickens living around the yard. This time she had the prettiest rooster. I went out and followed him trying to get pictures. He had a couple of little bantam hens following him around.

That pretty rooster

She and my cousins, who were retired too, got together for lunch and/or shopping every Tuesday. They called that their “day off”. I thought that was so funny. Well, I got to spend one of their “days off” with them. We went down to my cousins’, Becky and Bill, in Daytona Beach. We went to lunch and then went shopping at a really nice mall. I still have the little wooden “chocolate” rabbit I bought on sale there. We all bought one I think.

Aunt Roberta's house

Sometime after my visit, Aunt Roberta was in bed one night. It was raining and the wind was blowing. Something fell on the back of the house. There was a huge oak tree at the back corner. One of the limbs had broken and fell on the roof. The electricity was out.

Aunt Roberta, at least 90, got her clothes on, grabbed her flashlight and walked to Tim’s back porch, about a 1/4 mile away. She sat on his porch without waking anyone, until Tim got up and came out to sit on the porch with his coffee. I just thought that was incredible when I heard about it. I probably would have been beating on the door.......let me in! But, she sat quietly, by herself and waited.

Aunt Roberta and I
July 2009

My brothers and sisters also went to visit Aunt Roberta and our cousins as often as they could.

Charlie and I were able to spend a few days visiting with them in July 2009. We’re so happy that we had that time with her. She had slowed quite a bit, but then again, she was 93, so we weren’t surprised at that.

She had been in the hospital earlier that year with pneumonia. Afterward she had stayed with Bobby for a week or two and then insisted that she go home. They didn’t want her to, but they knew she would be unhappy if she wasn’t in her own home, around her own things. So, they just kept a close eye on her and she was happy.

About four months later, on November 28, 2009, a year ago, my Aunt Roberta passed away. A few days earlier, on the 21st, I received a call from my cousin, Annette, who said that Aunt Roberta was not feeling well and was not eating. When they took her to the hospital, tests were run and it was discovered that she had liver cancer. She went into Hospice and passed away just days later.

I’m sure she never complained to anyone, even though she may have sensed that she was very ill. She lived the way she wanted and her kids respected that. She was not a burden on anyone.

When my brother went to see her in Hospice, just days before she passed, he was talking to her and she was apologizing to him that she wasn’t able to do anything. She always offered something to eat, or something to drink.......“What can I get for you?”

We all miss her and it will not be the same when we go back to visit. But, thank goodness we have the memories of those days.

More later........