HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR MOTHER

As A Young Mother

Today, November 5, would have been my Mom’s 90th birthday. I think about her often.

Tuesday night, November 2, when Charlie and I were watching the election returns, I thought about the mid-term elections back on November 1, 1994. Charlie was somewhere on travel and I was home alone to watch the returns. I called my Mom, who lived 3,000 miles and 3 time zones away. She was watching the Fox News Channel and since we didn’t have FNC yet, I was watching CNN. But, the returns were coming in the same. That was a historic election because the Republicans took both houses of Congress. It had been about 40 years since that had happened. We both had kept up with the politics leading up to the election, so we had lots to talk about. We were on the phone for well over an hour before saying “good night”.

My Mom had a love for animals which she passed on to us. When I was a little girl I can’t remember how many stray cats I brought home. We kept every one of them.

My parents had been raised to believe that animals belonged in the yard, not in the house. I remember that we had dogs outside and cats outside. Of course, we sneaked them in when we could. The window by my bed didn’t have a screen. When a cat would sit on the outside window sill, I raised the window and that cat slept with me. Usually the cat would want back out to go to the bathroom during the night. There were many mornings when “Pop” got up and I heard him cussing about that ‘@#%& cat stayed in the house last night and s**t on the floor!’ As we got older, we wore our parents down and they started allowing our pets into the house.

We had a white cat named “Josephine”. She had 2 white kittens. We didn’t know if they were girls or boys, but we named the kittens “Geraldine” and “Christine”. My best friend, Glenda, and I were out walking one day. We found 2 little white kittens in the median between the four lane highway near our house. Of course, we brought the kittens home. They were just a little bigger than “Josephine’s” kittens. We put them in the box with the family. “Josephine” just accepted them.

One morning my Pop was walking by the box. He said to Mom, “I thought that old cat had TWO kittens”. Without batting an eye, my Mom said “Well, she has 4 now”. She didn’t lie, but she didn’t offer any explanation either. So, we got away with that one.

When Charlie and I lived in Virginia we asked Mom to come up and visit for a couple of weeks. We told her that she could bring her little black cat, “Scoot”, with her if she wanted to. So “Scoot” came to visit and stayed in Mom’s room with her. We had 9 cats of our own at the time, and they didn’t care for each other, much less a visitor like “Scoot”.

Mom liked all of our cats, but she especially liked Taz. She always liked tabby cats and Taz had stripes. But, Taz was very shy and wouldn’t come anywhere near Mom. We had a little kitchen nook where we had a small table. Taz, being special, liked to sit on that table. He had a small bowl of kibble and he could watch my every move when I was in the kitchen.

Mom came down every morning, sat at the table with her coffee and worked the crossword puzzle from the newspaper. If Taz was on the table when she came in, he usually quietly slipped away. After about a week, Mom was at the table one morning and Taz came in and jumped up. That was the first hurdle. My Mom wouldn’t be satisfied until Taz allowed her to pet him. She was persistent and after a few more days, she finally conquered Taz. I loved seeing them at the table together. Taz would stand and arch his back while she petted him. He loved the attention and he was making her day. I just wish I’d taken a picture of that!

Mom’s health was not good for the last few years of her life. My sister, Jennifer, and I were talking one time about how it was hard to realize that Mom was frail. She said “Here is Mom, once bigger than life to us, strong and always there, and now I have to remember that she needs my arm to walk down the steps.........” We just go through life and then all of a sudden you see the changes. We get older.

Mom had heart surgery on May 6, 1996. They repaired a valve in her heart. I went to stay with her for the month of May. I wouldn’t take anything for the time I spent with her, talking to her, making sure the bird feeders were filled so she could watch the birds that she loved. Taking care of her dog and cat, the horses and just being there with her.

I miss Mom. We all do. She was the center of our family. She passed away March 11, 2005, just one day before my Pop’s birthday. She was 84. Pop had passed away just days after his birthday, March 15, 1988 at 68.

Mom and Pop

When my Mom was alive, she was the magnet that brought us kids together for Thanksgiving or Christmas or “just because”.

It’s been over a year since I’ve seen my two brothers and two sisters. Charlie and I cancelled our trip to see our families this year because of Taz’s illness, but next year......here we come........”just because”.

Jean, Jennifer, Mom, Robert, Me, & Richard
Mother's Day, May 2003

More later.........