Mommy...don't take yourself so seriously.........

Kaci.......really?

Jason.......doesn't know how to relax

Taz.....relaxing in his favorite bankie

So I’m at the 32nd Street Naval Base today. I went into the Exchange Garden Shop to see if I could find a bird feeder to hang up outside the family room. We had a bird feeder there that Charlie gave me a few years ago. It was the coolest one I’d ever seen. It had little lights that lit up at night, solar powered. But, best of all, it had feeding stations that the birds could get to, but they couldn’t just flit the food all over the place. It fell several times and, unfortunately, this last time, it broke. He had gotten it at the Exchange.

Long story short, they didn’t have any bird feeders that resembled what I wanted. So, after my leisure time of shopping for what I really wanted was over, I went to work, shopping at the Commissary for Thanksgiving dinner.

It is a huge Commissary Store. In fact, it is the U.S. military's largest commissary. And it was very crowded. I don’t mind crowded, but I do mind stupid. Some of these people who shop there act like they have never been in a store before. Put a shopping cart in their hands and they are downright dangerous. You wouldn’t believe how many of them push their carts down the left side of the aisle. HELLO, do you freaking drive on that side of the road? Maybe, but you won’t live long. And today, if I’d had my way, you wouldn’t live long either.

Charlie and I have gone to the commissary before and usually he drives our cart. We see the same kind of stupid crap. He knows what they do to me. These people are unreal. I can’t believe his patience. I don’t say anything. He knows what I’m thinking. He’s thinking the same thing. But, he waits for “Ethel” to pick her freaking spices while her cart is blocking everyone coming down the aisle. She’s unconscious! Unaware that anyone else is in the store shopping. Really?

I was doing fine, pushing my cart, waiting for people, etc. I always go down the right side of the aisle. But, there are some who push along the left side, so you have carts coming right at you, head on and then just a small space to get through two carts on either side of the aisle. Then when they are all stopped, you have to wait until you can get by. I get that. I’ve done it hundreds of times. It’s the commissary life.

In some of the stores we’ve been in, they actually have arrows down the right side of the aisles. Of course it doesn’t do any good, but I thought I’d mention it.

Well, somewhere in the middle of store, not sure which aisle, I came upon idiot City. I’m on the right side of the aisle, cautiously pushing along, watching everyone. There was a woman, on her cell phone talking to someone and she had about 3 kids, running all over, picking up stuff from the shelves. She was saying “Do we need this, do we need that, etc.” and she was with her cart in front of me. Well that didn’t bother me, although I noticed it. But then there were two carts on the left of aisle coming towards me. Then a guy with a bright yellow shirt had his cart CROSS WISE of the aisle, blocking everyone on either side. He freaking didn’t know which side of the aisle he wanted to shop on. He was wild eyed, looking for something on both sides of the aisle. Did his wife really send him out alone?

There were about three people behind me. I turned to see if the guy behind me was seeing what I was seeing. His eyes were glazed over. I thought “He’s been in here too long” so I said something like “Excuse me, can we get through here?” I swear it was like Night of the Living Dead in there.

But, the woman with the kids, who I wasn't even talking to, kind of moved her cart and said “It’s crowded in here so you should show some patience”.

I looked at her and said “Excuse me, are you talking to me?.... Are you talking to ME? Do I know you? You don’t KNOW how much patience I have. I think I can see how crowded it is in here! Besides, I wasn’t EVEN talking to YOU. This is NONE of your freaking business, lady. Don't you see this guy who has his freaking cart CROSSWISE in the aisle and NO ONE can get by? HELLO?"

Well, actually, what I REALLY said was “I have patience,Ma'am” (I hate being called "Ma'am" myself) and she said “Well you’re not showing it,” and I said “Well, you’re not showing any courtesy,” and I pushed on, but I heard her gasp “Wow”, like, 'well, I never!' I guess she thought she was being COURTEOUS to me by butting in and talking to me like one of her kids, telling me that I had a nerve to say “excuse me” while I tried to get through "Crazy Town" at the commissary. It was none of her business and I wasn’t even talking to her in the first place.

Of course, this would have been a different scene if Charlie had been with me and pushing the cart. We would have waited “patiently” without saying anything, but I would be boiling inside at the stupidity of these people.

On the way home, I thought about what I could have said to that woman when she tried to lecture me about patience. Actually no one nearby even acknowledged our exchange. She was the only one who had any life to her I think. Maybe we both could have yelled at each other and got our frustrations out and no one would have noticed, but then again I might have wound up in the security office with them calling Charlie: “Captain Bell, you wife is out of control (again) at the 32nd Street Commissary. Can you come down and settle her down?”

I came out of it unscathed though. Before I got home, I stopped at Von’s grocery store for a couple of things I had forgotten or they didn't have, and for a bottle of wine, which I couldn’t buy at the commissary. I think there’s a good reason for that. It was good to see that they push their carts on the RIGHT side of the aisle at Vons.

More later..............