Grief is not something you get over. It is something you walk through and learn how to manage and live with.

Since we are planning on taking an RV trip across the country in May, we took the RV to our specialist to have maintenance and any repairs done, if needed. Last year we put it through these preparations with a tuneup, new tires, etc. But, then we didn’t make the trip.

So this time, we got the tuneup, fan in the bathroom replaced, brakes on the back wheels, and other minor stuff done. We went to pick it up this morning.

The RV Specialists are located not far from Miramar Road. Their street ends in a cul-de-sac. Just through the cul-de-sac and down a long, winding road to the bottom of the hill is the San Diego Pet Memorial Park. This is where our Chelsi, Grady and Taz were cremated.

I actually discovered the park in 1993 when I worked at a construction company near here. It was probably one of the worse jobs I’d ever gotten myself into (I quit after only two weeks). It was my first job here when we moved from Pennsylvania to San Diego.

It was too far to drive home for lunch, so usually I’d go out and look for shopping centers or drive around, just to get out of the office and explore the area. One day I was driving down Miramar Road and saw the sign for the San Diego Pet Memorial Park. I followed the signs there. It was a very peaceful place. Even though we didn’t have a pet buried there, I walked around and looked at some of the graves. The park has been there since 1962.

"A Tribute to God's Creatures"
Opening of the park, 1962
(all pictures come from the park's website)

This morning when I dropped Charlie off at the RV place, I drove on down the hill to the Park. We had taken Taz there last October when he died. It was the last time I saw Taz and I just wanted to go there and walk around and remember him, as well as our other ones.

No one else was in the cemetery. I walked through, looking at the stones, the names, dates, words of love and remembrance (“We’ll meet again at the Rainbow Bridge”). The markers are all flat, but they are not all the same. Some have pictures of the dog or cat. I even found a bunny, “Boing”, someone’s little pet who lived to be 11 years old. I didn’t think rabbits lived more than five or six years.

I didn’t realize that the park was so large. I kept walking and then I came to the end. In the corner, under a tree there was a bench. I thought it would be nice just to sit for awhile and be alone. As I was walking to the bench, I noticed two graves and the markers indicated that horses were buried there. One was a national champion.

It was overcast, but not cold. I sat and looked around the grounds. People had put flowers on their pets’ graves. Some of the flowers needed to be picked up and thrown away, but I’m sure the park has people who do that. There were little stuffed toys lying around too. These were all indications that people still came to visit their pets’ grave. Some had been buried here for years.

There was a wind chime hanging from the limb of the tree over the bench where I sat. All of a sudden a breeze came up and the wind chime started moving and making its pretty sound. The park was full of birds chirping. I was overwhelmed just sitting there in that peaceful place, thinking of all of the pets here who were so loved by their owners. Of course, I had started crying when I first arrived while walking through, looking at the graves. I didn’t think to bring a kleenex (and no, I didn’t use my sleeve, although it came to mind!).

I finally felt ready to leave. When I got back to my car, I noticed some dried up plants at the edge of the trees. These were obviously from the graves. There was a little evergreen tree, the kind you see in the stores at Christmas time. I picked it up and felt of its leaves. They were still fairly supple. Maybe it was still alive. I brought it home and I’m going to plant it in memory of all of our babies who have left us: Rowdy, Calvin, Chelsi, Mo, Grady and Taz. I hope it lives.

Oh, and when I was driving home I thought, 'Well, I went to the pet memorial park to remember Taz and the other babies and I had a good cry. Charlie had a good cry while driving the RV home.........after he paid the bill!'

More later.........